Something that just brightened up my day.

[Mackadoody]

It's getting late, 5:00pm est on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving... I'm sitting here bored, noshing on a hunk of cheddar cheese. Listening to the Lite FM station play the same rotation of Christmas music in my store.

Nice and quiet... almost relaxing.

That's when the friggin' wackos come in.

I must look like I have "Gullible" written on my forehead. In comes some patient... Immediately starts with the friendly conversation... Ready for Thanksgiving? blah blah blah....

Then gives me the prescriptions:
---------------- On a blank nurse practitioner Rx that has (Not for controlled Substances) imprinted on it
Percocet 5/325
#120
One tablet every 4 hours
when needed for pain
---------------- On a blank nurse practitioner Rx that has (Not for controlled Substances) imprinted on it
Methadone 10mg
#60
One tablet twice a day
----------------On a Xerox'd Rx
Cymbalta (no strength) | Anti-Depressant
Geodon (no strength) | Anti-Psychotic
Lamictal 25mg | Anti-epileptic
Xanax 2mg
#120
2 tablets twice a day


I'm looking at this, thinking.
What the F*ck?!?!?
So, I gotta tell her the bad news.

- I don't have any Methadone.
Can't you just give me the Percocets then?
- The narcotics are written on a blank Rx that has Not for Controlled Substances written on it.,, I can't use those documents for those drugs.
The Doctor ran out of prescriptions so she used these.
- The other presciption is on a Xerox copy and I...
I told you the doctor ran out of prescriptions!
- Well, I have to call the doctor and verify the ones on the Xerox.
I'll get her on the phone..
- No, don't waste your cell minutes, I'll call from my phone.
What about the other medicines.. (starts shaking, angrily glaring at me) I haven't had my medicines all day, and you're tellling me I have to wait until after the holiday? YOu can't just give me some methadone to hold me over until you're open?
- I don't have carry any methadone in stock. There's also a 24-hour CVS down the street that will be open over the holiday... but the doctor wrote these prescriptions on the wrong type of Rx pad.


A conversation ensues for about another 10 minutes... the lady getting all incredulous and stuff... won't let me call the physician... walks out, then comes back with the "physician" on the phone... Fortunately, her phone loses connection.... So I offer to call the doc back. I pick up my phone and she FINALLY says
"You don't have ANY methadone, right? Then don't waste my fucking time!"
grabs the presciptions and leaves.



I'm dying... that was so funny. Made my whole day. :smile2:

[Mitzi]

Incredible

[Cyclone]

You mean you don't just give that stuff out to just anyone? You evil evil pharmacist following procedure like that. How DARE you, being its the holidays and all? You must be a big Scrouge. lol, some idiots...

[Mackadoody]

Yeah... every once in a while, I get a good "shop" story.


Last summer, I had this drunk guy stumble into the pharmacy. Dude was flammable... If someone lit a match near him, he woulda exploded from all the ethanol that was coming off him.

I just kept telling him that maybe he should go home and try to sleep it off.

He kept asking me for a few Xanax... since his back hurt... Kept on asking for the Xanax for the pain... I'd tell him that I didn't think he was feeling ANY pain... I mean, c'mon, most people are happy drunks in the morning.
I almost had him out of the store, when he stumbled into a shelf, and leaned on it looking at the floor like he was gonna puke.

I don't wanna clean up puke off my merchandise and floor.... so I called the cops. Cops came, they called the paramedics, everyone is talking to the guy... Dude was having a great time... Cops asked if they could see his identification, dude drops a wallet on the floor, with his State Social Worker card right in the front. Cops asked what he'd been drinking... "BLACKBERRY BRANDY" he proudly exclaimed...

That was funny.


What was funnier was when the cops had the EMTs roll the guy out to the hospital. The one cop told me "It feels good dumping all the paperwork on them for once. They always dump bullshit like this on us."


Funny pharmacy stories are few and far between... but when they happen, it's cool.

[barks]

Dude you should blog these.... I got a site if you want to capture them...

[Ireckon]

So in your original situation do you just chalk it up as a funny work moment or is there a procedure you follow to cut the low lifes off at the pass? Like call the cops?


Just curious.

[Mackadoody]

I can't call the cops unless I can verify that the prescriptions are fake... I can't verify if the Rx's are fake if the doc's office is closed. (5:00pm on a Wednesday before a holiday)

I also can't withhold a prescription from someone... it's their property. IF, in the slim chance that the Rx's were legitimate from a retarded doctor who has a name that sounds like someone who can barely speak english, and I withhold the Rx's from the patient... I can be sued for illegally withholding their private medical information... I can also be fined by the board of pharmacy for up to $20,000 for breaking the HIPAA laws.

I have the right to refuse to fill a prescription... In the past, I've gotten people arrested... but that was after I was able to confirm with a physician that the Rx's are fake. Otherwise, I just refuse to fill it.


One time, I had a legitimate prescription from a patient... it was for Vicodins, but it was for a very large amount. The patient had a history of enjoying several pain killers from several different doctors. I flat out refused to fill the prescription because the chick was turning yellow. I'm chinese, and she was yellower than me. Yellow eyes, yellow skin... a sign of jaundice... probably secondary to a drug induced hepatitis/acetaminphen toxicity from taking too much Vicodins... Acetaminophen is Tylenol... you take more than 5000mg in a day, and you start damaging your liver....

I'm not gonna fill a legitimate Rx if you are gonna sit there and try to get high off it to the point your gonna kill yourself. I refused it, she took it back, and probably got it filled down the street at Rite Aid.

[Mackadoody]

I have arrest stories... they're freaky.. not funny.


One guy would come in with prescriptions for Oxycontin... he was always getting surgery... so, he had shoulder problems... he'd wear a bandage over his shoulder... say he got something done, etc...

One day he starts seeing a new doc... fine... No longer has bandages on his shoulder, but a 4in cut with metal sutures sticking out of his skin. Ewww! Like he needed to show me. So, I look at the new Rx, and notice the handwriting on this prescription is the exact same as the previous doc.

WTF?

Call the doc, find out it's forged from a stolen pad, call the cops, cops sit in the office. Dude comes back... arrested.

Dude had actually cut a line into his shoulder and stuck pieces of wire into his skin to make it look like he had some sort of surgury. Freaky... no funny.